Sharing photos on social media is the one trend that really stuck. The way we communicate is extremely visual now. Instagram is overflowing with millions and millions of posts every day. We’ve seen all possible kinds of poses and challenges, filters and tricks. A lot of them made waves and looked genuine good. But I can’t say the same in regards to a few trends. Like the ones listed below. Most of them make me cringe, mostly. Even though they caught up real fast, they don’t make much sense and are definitely not flattering. So, I’d like to mention a few of them to put my point across. I hope we come up with cooler, more innovative stuff this year.
Here we go!
1. The Duck Face
Yeah, that’s exactly how it looks when someone pulls that stupid a face. How the fuck do people assume that this looks attractive? I’d like this ridiculous part to repeat after me: “I’m not a duck. I’m not a duck. I’m not a duck. I’m not a duck. I’m not a duck.”
For those who still don’t get it…
Yeah man. You’re awesome because you travel around a lot and see the world in all its shining glory. I get it. But I don’t want your holiday albums on my feed all the time. Keep them in your gallery. Spare me. I don’t even get jealous anymore.
No. No. NO. Don’t show me your sweaty abs, flexing biceps and work out wear. Not interested. You’re getting fit n’ sexy? Extraordinary for you, love. But just please stop posing in front of the mirror and get back on that treadmill. Do what you’re at a gym for.
4.Selfies And More Selfies
Hi, Kim Ks everywhere! The lady made a coffee book out of her million selfies, for Christ’s purpose. And many young, unsuspecting boys and girls sure do seem to be taking a leaf out of her book. Can’t get enough of yourself, can you? I’ve had enough of you though. But you’re desperate as ever. Alas. Narcissism is such a terrible curse.
You ain’t no richest kid of Saudi Arabia. But daddy & mommy got a new car for their sweetheart and it must be showed off because that’s the only thing that’ll make you feel cool about yourself. You need to do it again. And again. And again. Because you’ve got too much time and even more money. Unfortunately, nothing else.
6.Too Many Philosophical/Inspirational Quotes
Take your gyaan elsewhere and throw it at someone who cares. I’m not in the state of mind for your emo shit. Life is hard. Love sucks. We know. Stop preaching already. You ain’t my spiritual master. And you’re not telling me anything new.
I’m happy for both of you, I really am. But the extra couple-y feels and cheesy lovestruck looks in your posts (with cheesier captions) make me want to gag. Seriously, why don’t you just invite me to your bedroom? I’ll watch. Ha. Jokes apart, I don’t want to be a part of your cute little world, guys. So leave me out. I wish you a great life together.
What are you, 10 years old? Why are you trying to cram everything in one grid? Get rid of those stupid collage making apps, dude. Try to make do with just one photo, perhaps? That way, you’ll have more space in your phone too. That way, we both can be happy. I win. You win. Yippee!
The only person you’re fooling is yourself. You want us to witness your nap time charm? I laugh at you. I mock you. Wake up sleepy head, and smell the coffee. You look so fucking dumb. I can even see your half-missing arm. For starters, open your eyes and see reality.
10.Sunset and Sunrise
Wow! The sun! Going up! Going down! I’m blown away, man. I’ve never see this before! I can’t get enough of pictures of a dim yellow ball bouncing around in the sky. It just fills my heart with joy. So unique and special. Thank you.
Your about-to-go-in-for-a-kiss pout is in place and you lean in, freezing right as your lips touch the person’s face while giving the camera a slant gaze. Then you wait for the flash to go off a few times. Then you run to the phone and pick the image with your best side profile. Dang! Job done. You post your declaration of love and go home. Cute.
Why am I seeing a zoomed in shots of your pedicured, uneven toes every few weeks? Or shiny, smooth legs at a spa or poolside? Or pictures of your feet, along with two more pairs? Once or twice is okay, but every time? I’m not interested in your individual body parts. Stop shoving them in my face.
What is this, your faith group? People aren’t following you to have your beliefs forced onto them. No disrespect to one’s religion, but such excessive devotion to God on social media can be surprisingly annoying and sometimes, out of line.
14.Semi-Naked Bathroom Selfies
Thank you for not taking all your clothes off, I guess. I mean, I’d totally understand and even hit ‘like’ if you were chilling on a beach. Heck, I’d leave a nice comment. But why the hell am I seeing a semi-clad you in a bathroom with ugly tiles and used towels in the background? You really don’t give a shit about privacy, do you? So turning off.
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